Saturday, 16 December 2017

Winter Break

I am currently sitting at the Miyakori Coffee shop on the 5th floor of Johor Bahru City Square, having just finished playing the final round of the Johor International Open Chess tournament. I did OK, I scored 5/9 against a majority rated over 2200 opposition. Having not seriously practiced any chess for nearly 4 months, I think that’s pretty decent. 

It was a little jarring, at the beginning of the tournament I was concerned with minimizing my rating damage, but it turns out that by the end of my tournament tour I gained a net total of 4 rating points. 
One shouldn’t care about the rating anyways, but I would be lying if I said that it wasn’t satisfying to see that plus.

There were the usual signs of rust - visualizing positions incorrectly, forgetting opening lines, and blundering pieces (this happened to me twice against low rated players). But I am glad to say that I overcame this with strong performances when they were needed, the necessary mental resolve, and a newfound confidence - thanks to the invaluable experience which I gained from training with Grandmaster Avetik Grigoryan.

I did lie a little when I said that I wouldn’t care if I lost to someone born in 2000 something - since I did, and it did not feel good, but there’s a silver lining to everything, since I performed well by the end of the tournament. 

So now comes Christmas, and the chance to pass my driving test, be with my family, and to watch Star Wars!

I fly back to Savannah, Georgia on the 5th of January 2018. I look forward to meeting new people, living my second existence as a college filmmaker, and running forward on the moving walkway that is life. 


Friday, 1 December 2017

Back (Always) in the Grind

SCAD's (The Savannah College of Art & Design) winter break began Nov 17, that's incredibly fast for a university to begin its winter break. 

It was a long time to get here, a 4 hour bus ride to Atlanta, followed by a 14 hour flight over the polar ice caps to Incheon, then a 5 hr flight to Bangkok.

So here I am.

With the Thailand Team Championship starting tomorrow. 

I won't lie, I'm a little bit scared, since I haven't really practiced for over 4 months.

Going to an arts school and playing chess is a little strange, since they are such distinct activities. 
At SCAD, I was concerned with whether my drawing had a realistic qualities and whether I had used the MLA citation format properly. 
Now, my priorities are fixing the holes in my black repertoire vs 1.d4.

I will admit, my interest in the game waned somewhat. The weekly meetings at the local Savannah chess club (which I am eternally grateful for) were great to maintain my OTB (over the board) strength, but still, playing 5 minute blitz can't compare to playing competitively in rated tournaments.

But I shouldn't be scared. I should be excited, excited for the fact that I will get to indulge in a mentally stimulating, unprecedentedly complex board game.
No, my ego has been destroyed and rebuilt too many times for me to worry about losing to somebody born in 2000-something, there are bigger things in life to worry about.

I initially saw this return to the game as going 'back to the grind', but then I thought, aren't we always in the grind? 

Once we realize that, we can be free from the programming of 'working' and 'relaxing'. 

There is no such thing.

Life is a perpetual grind. 

Lets go. 

Thursday, 16 November 2017

8 Answers for the Liebster Award (for Wordpress)

1. Do you believe in ghosts?
No, but I wouldn't spend a single night in the Amityville house.

2. What is your least favourite colour?
If I had to pick I'd say Brown

3. Describe where you’d be in 10 years.
Creating something that I am passionate about

4. How important is exercise to you?
Very, I always feel horrible when I don't get enough of it.

5. What is your relationship with food?
Love it, when it's consumed in a a reasonable matter of course

6. What is your preferred social media platform?
YouTube (does that count?)

7. Why do you blog?
To practice my writing/grammatical skills, and to develop my own voice.

8. What motivates you to get up everyday?
It's the hunger, the hunger for the interminable possibilities of life, and the refusal to accept a vapid existence

Friday, 3 November 2017

The Bartender


The air is thick with the scent of cigarettes. He is no stranger to it, it is a typical aroma in this town.

The pianist on the small platform at the end of the room plays a slow, rhythmic piece. His notes are punctuated by the laughter of a group of businessmen huddled in the corner, cracking jokes amongst each other as they take lengthy puffs from their Embassy Filters.  

He rubs the surface of the oak bar with a linen cloth, wiping away the random drops of liquor leftover from the glasses of earlier clients. Over a white shirt he wears a black vest and a red tie, his hair is slicked back, and his composure is firm.  

Two old timers sit at opposite ends of the bar. One of them gets up and leaves a crumpled dollar bill, glass nearly empty.
 
He takes the bill and empties the left-over gin, then proceeds to wipe the glass clean with a linen cloth.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees a figure approaching the bar. He turns to see a woman wearing a dark business suit. Her eyes are rimmed with stress. 

“What will it be?” He asks her as he rubs the glass dry. 

“Make it a screwdriver” she says as she takes a seat at the bar. 

He nods and places the now dry glass back onto the shelf. 

He grabs a new, narrow one, and fills it two thirds of the way up with ice cubes. He adds an ounce of Smirnoff and tops it off with a flush of fresh orange juice.  He stirs it healthily, then places it on a thin plate and brings it over to her.

“Enjoy," he says. 

“Thank you.” 

She stirs it a little bit more and takes a small sip, then lets out a soft sigh.

She continues to take minute sips from the glass, then pulls out a cigarette and searches for her lighter. 

“Ma’am?” He asks her as he slides one out from his breast pocket.

“Thanks.”

As he leans over to flick on the flame, he notices that she has on a thin layer of lipstick with a pair of round, dark earrings. There is a string of grey amidst her hair.

“Long day?” he asks as he pulls back. 

She smiles a little as she takes a lengthy drag from her filter. 

“You get used to it,” a small pause, “and you?”

 Her voice is tired but undeniably firm, it carries the ring of one which has been honed through countless hours of sycophantic corporate interactions.

He picks up a dry glass to wipe it. “The usual, a little quiet this time of the year.”

She nods, then turns to face the pianist, who has moved on to Gershwin’s Embraceable You. 

Her eyes reflect the pensive notes that begin to play out. One arm rests on the oak bar, and the other hangs off the edge of her chair. She lets the cigarette dangle between her fingers, he notices a diamond ring.

Maniacal laughter erupts from the corner; he turns to see the businessmen doubled over, banging on the table as their gaping mouths inhale the thick smoke of their cigarettes. 

They fade out of focus as he sees her head lean forward ever so slightly, as if drawn in by the music. 
Her shoulders loosen up, her eyes slowly slide shut.

The dim, warm light gives her contemplative face a statuesque touch. 

Amidst the stench of processed tobacco, he notices something – 

a sweet smell, like a luscious vapor which has sliced through the smoke. 

He follows the scent until it rests, undeniably, on her.

He puts the dry glass back into its place.

He hesitates for a second.

Then, as if forced by an invisible hand, he places his fist firmly on the polished, oak bar.

His vest stretches slightly as he leans forward towards her.

He closes his eyes and breathes in.

It is honey with a tinge of cinnamon, topped off with a trace of melted vanilla. It carries a warmth to it, like a fire being kindled in a cozy cabin in the snowy wilderness.

The sounds of the bar have faded away, the darkness is punctuated by a sole stream of light on the two of them.

As the scent flows through him, he sees a house in the countryside, far from the polluted tendrils of the city. 

He sees children running in the wheat fields as the setting sun floods the sky with a dazzling orange.

He sees smiling.

He sees a beaut—

He hears clapping.

He opens his eyes.

His vest loosens as he takes his clenched fist off the polished oak.

The darkness disappears, and the sounds of the bar fade back in.

The pianist plays out the last remaining notes of his piece, then whispers: "thank you," to the businessmen who are clapping their hands as they nod with approval.

He picks up the dry glass to continue wiping it. 

Her eyes slowly open as she raises her head to take one final puff from her cigarette, then she turns to face him. 

The ends of her lips go up lightly in an affable fashion, it is almost a smile. He returns the favor.

He watches her as she exits the hotel. As she disappears through the revolving doors, he picks up the linen cloth, wets it ever so slightly under the sink, then proceeds to wipe down the oak bar.

Sunday, 13 August 2017

The Accountant (2016)

I recall sitting at a restaurant in a mall, slurping up a bowl of noodles. One hand holding chopsticks, the other my IPhone. It was a Tuesday night, and the place was almost empty as I remember it. I was scrolling through Facebook, as you do, thinking about what I was going to do the next day. I put down the phone to finish the bowl, but then felt a change in the atmosphere. The mall was nearly empty, which made it quiet – but it was as if it had gotten even quieter. I thought I heard a slight sniffle, I heard some muttering from the restaurant workers.
As I dreaded the worst, I pulled up my phone again, opened up Facebook, and saw a live stream of hundreds, if not thousands, of people; crying and mourning in front of the hospital where our King had been the past few years. I read the text above the livestream which proclaimed that the King of Thailand had died. 

Surreal, the first word that comes to mind. To experience an end on an era like this is literally a once in a lifetime opportunity. After paying the bill, I walked outside to see a sea of commuters flowing towards the subway entrance, every single one of them with their heads down and their eyes glued to their phones. Standing on top of the steps and seeing a sea of strangers most likely watching the same livestream as me felt like witnessing history. I gave myself a moment to feel the night wind against my skin, because I knew that a day like this would probably never come again in my life. The air was thick with sorrow; I could feel it, the calamity was almost tangible.

Two days later, I went to the cinema with my father. We entered the mall dressed in black, I was wearing a polo shirt and long pants. Very soon after the king’s passing, the government announced that everyone would have to wear somber colors in the coming days, weeks, and months. In other countries this might be frowned upon, but in Thailand this is perfectly normal. Before watching the film, we walked around the department store. Already they were capitalizing on the recent tragedy. We passed piles of black shirts, skirts, and all other manner of clothing, all attached with significant discounts — it was almost comical. The mall was nearly empty, it seemed no one was in the mood for shopping now, except for dark clothing of course.
As we walked to the theater; I couldn’t help but feel guilty. Here we were, enjoying ourselves after an undoubtedly monumental tragedy. But at least I knew that we could pay respects with the customary anthem before the movie. I saw a young couple who also looked rather remorseful, as if they were committing some kind of embarrassing crime. The cinema also had most of its lights turned off in light of the tragedy, which made it even worse. It was as if they were mocking us, telling us that we were indulging in our hedonistic pleasures despite the tragic stand still that the country was currently undergoing.

We entered the cinema and took our seats. Like the mall, it too was nearly empty, except for us and some other sorry people. The usual previews and advertisements began. I was looking forward to the film, but it seemed like the biggest emotional impact would instead be from what was going to undeniably come before it. Soon enough, the cue card faded onto the screen, telling us to stand up and pay respects to the king; something which I had been seeing for as long as I could remember. I could feel my body shaking as I stood up from the seat. My heart rate increased, I didn’t want it to, but couldn’t help it. The anthem started playing, and the usual animated slideshow depicting his achievements began. Usually I considered this part of the cinema going experience a chore. Something I wasn’t so keen on (who is after they’ve settled into their cushioned seats?) but still did out of respect of course. But now, seeing the pictures of him, with the anthem which I’d heard countless times playing in front of me, I couldn’t help but a feel an immense sense of pride.

In my eighteen years of living on this earth, I had not grasped the true magnitude of his impact on our country until that moment in the cinema, the day after his death. It was only when he was gone that I realized the extent of his legacy. I could feel the tears welling up inside of me, an immense pressure pushing against my face. I held them back, not wanting to embarrass myself. I stood as straight as I could, not wanting to disappoint. Now more than ever, I felt a profound sense of patriotism and obligation, to what or whom I don’t know; but the feeling was undeniable. King Rama 9 was someone who had reigned for 70 years and had contributed his life to his country. Someone who was undeniably great, in every sense of the word. My eyes focused, and my expression was solemn and steadfast, I would’ve saluted if I could.  As the chorus and orchestra swelled I felt my entire body react, as if a deep warm fire had been started within me. My chest weighed heavy and my eyes watered slightly as I struggled to hold back the tide of my emotions.  
Then suddenly, it was over; and the screen dimmed to black as the voices of the chorus faded away. We slumped back into our seats, silent. I certainly wasn’t ready for the film, which I had completely forgot about.
The anthem had not only nearly brought me to tears, but had also served as a catalyst for a sense of patriotism which I had never felt before in my life. It was a truly unique event, surreal in the sense that something that used to be so mundane had turned into a cathartic, sublime, and profound experience. Because it not only acted as a reminder of his monumental achievements, but also signified the end of an era. A historical event, a remarkable experience.

That would indeed, be the last time that I saw an anthem commemorating King Rama 9 in the cinema. I went overseas for two months, then found on my return to the cinema in Thailand, that the visuals had been changed to commemorate King Rama 9’s successor, King Rama 10. A sign that despite his death, life goes on, and as a new dawn arrives, the country must remain resolute.

Long Live the King.

Matt, Bangkok

Sunday, 18 June 2017

The Phitsanulok Chess Open 2017 - A retrospective

I am currently sitting in a cafe opposite the Grand Riverside Hotel, the venue for the recently concluded Phitsanulok Open in - you guessed it - Phitsanulok, Thailand. It was a 7 round swiss, with a standard time control of 90 minutes with a 30 second increment from move 1. Two rounds a day save for the last day. Overall, I'm not thoroughly satisfied with my play, I lost many games which I really shouldn't have. Yesterday I lost both of my games, so I could barely sleep, but luckily the tournament ended on a good note for me as in the final round - out of a clearly worse position my opponent allowed me the luxury of checkmating him in 1 move. I've only analyzed two games from the tournament so far, but am deathly afraid to analyze the games which I lost, the engine already caused me enough suffering by pointing out that my play was far from ideal in a game which I won - so what would it say in a game which I lost!? However, there are some good things that I can say about my performance in this tournament. Following some advice from my coach, I did not observe any other games whilst playing my own. If you didn't know already, it is common in standard chess tournaments to walk around the playing hall and observe other player's games, this is normal considering that a standard chess game is usually 3 hours long. However, before this tournament, my coach had told me and other players on the team not to look at any other boards as this could disrupt our concentration. I managed to do this successfully, but trust me - the temptation was certainly there. I did walk around the playing hall, but instead of observing other games focused on keeping the current position of my game in my head instead, something else that our coach had recommended us to do. My review of this method of not observing other games- it works for sure; I found that I had higher concentration levels - this is only natural as you are really only playing 1 chess game. The thing is that if you see another chess position - even if you are not consciously thinking about it, your brain may be going over it subconsciously and this can have an adverse effect on your own game. However, I believe I was the only one who actually followed his advice as during the tournament I witnessed other players from the national team observing other games. Another pearl of advice that I can offer to other fellow chess players - DO NOT FORGET YOUR JACKET! I made the very unfortunate mistake of forgetting my jacket when I went off to the airport. This seemingly small blunder would turn out to have drastic consequences for me. During multiple games it got so cold that I couldn't think properly and my play was certainly hindered. It is not such a pleasant feeling when you have less than a minute on the clock and your heart is beating at 100 miles per hour and its 18 degrees Celsius in the playing hall. Luckily I had my raincoat so I ended up wearing that, but even that did not work nearly as well as a proper jacket and I looked ridiculous wearing this huge neon blue raincoat in a hotel ballroom. So note to all chess players, proper regulation of your body temperature is very important! You do not want to be shaking from freezing temperatures when your position is critical!
Now, to criticize my play on the chess board:
I can clearly point out two things which need improving; firstly, my endgame technique. Almost all of the games which I lost stemmed from improper knowledge of endings. I'm not surprised as endgames have been the most neglected part of my personal chess study. Secondly - considering opponent's counter-play. In one game I completely overlooked two ideas from my opponent - if I had anticipated these plans I'm pretty sure I would've at least been able to draw the game. On the bright side, I can say that my confidence and composure have definitely improved since earlier this year, I can say that it has certainly helped me here in all my games. This was another tip which I took from our coach, he told us to always look confident, even if we were losing. He really emphasized the importance of psychology in chess, as in any other sport. I really took to this advice - if your opponent looks or even sounds upset - this can really make you confident and improve your play - but if they act like nothing happened, then you can't feed off their misery can you? So another jewel of advice which I can offer to other chess players, always be and appear confident! Make it so that your opponent can only win on the board as they cannot take anything from your steel composure! Most importantly, I can certainly say that my fighting spirit was present, all my games in this tournament were decisive and all the games which I lost lasted over 50 moves with my opponents consuming a significant amount of their time - contrary to in the Bangkok Chess Club Open where multiple games I lost without a fight. To all chess players and sportsmen - it is very important to have a strong fighting spirit. In chess, to not make any premature draws and to fight every game to the death.
Anyways, my next chess tournament is the Amsterdam Science Park open in Amsterdam, The Netherlands. Believe it or not, the recently concluded Phitsanulok Open would also be quite important for me as it would affect my experience in this upcoming tournament. The thing is that in the Amsterdam open they have rating categories, such as Group A, Group B etc. So naturally I wanted to play in Group A - with all the grandmasters and such. But the thing is that in order to play in Group A you need a FIDE rating over 2000, and my current FIDE rating before the Phitsanulok Open was 1998. So I needed to get at least 3 rating points to get over 2000. Going into the final round I had gained 3.4 points, enough - but was facing a 1665 rated opponent as black - also it did not help that he was a young talent. The thing is that even if I drew my final game , I would still lose 8 points, so it was kind of a must win situation. So thank Caissa, I won that game, and ended the tournament with a FIDE rating of 2004. So I get to play in Group A now. Due to just that, I can't really say that I'm upset about the outcome of this tournament, after all - it could've gone much much worse. Anyways, see you folks in another blog post - probably analyzing one of my losses or an ending!





Saturday, 10 June 2017

Looking forward

At the moment I have two upcoming standard chess tournaments, the Phitsanulok Chess Open in Phitsanulok, Thailand, and the Amsterdam Science Open, in Amsterdam, The Netherlands. Two chess tournaments; thousands of kilometers apart. These will be the last tournaments which I will play in before I start my university years! My goal in these tournaments is to just play quality chess, because that's what I've intended to do after realizing that playing for results and numbers is missing the true essence of the game - which is to enjoy it for all its infinite complexities. In total, by the end of my 'chess year' I would've played a total of 85 standard chess games! Nevertheless, the journey is far from over - and I will continue to play chess during my university years. The quest for International Master continues!