Year in Review

As the last hours of 2017 draw to a close, I feel an intense need to write down my final thoughts on the year before it ends forever. 

At the beginning of 2017, I wrote down a sticky note on my desktop computer, listing down 16 resolutions for it.
I won't post that here as most of them were not accomplished, but I imagine that is usually the case. 

But I can say that 2017 was the best year of my life, it really was a unique, special year for me, and for many reasons. 

I began 2017 as a gap year. After being rejected from all my universities in 2016 (after a lackluster High School career), I had reapplied to five of them (with another one included), and was in the same situation as I was in last year. 

But this was different of course, last year I was preoccupied with completing the International Baccalaureate program, this year I had a stupid amount of free time. 

I planned to play chess.

I had made a vow to myself at the beginning of 2017, that I would work on chess harder than I've ever worked on anything in my life, and that I would prove that hard work pays off - something which I'd never done during high school.

So I trained everyday. I worked on all three aspects of the game, the opening, the middle-game, and the endgame. I supplemented this with physical exercise, by running at the park every week. 

With so much free time, I could finally dedicate myself 100% to something which I was passionate about. In a way, it was like I was conducting an experiment on myself, an experiment to test my mental fortitude and to see how far I could go in something which I was fully committed to. 

In my first standard chess game tournaments of the year, I did not perform well. I lost rating points, and spoiled many winning positions. I lost the Thailand Junior Chess Championship by a hair string, and also butchered a winning position against a strong International Master from the Philippines. 

But these events, although painful, made me stronger. I took a different attitude towards chess, I did not place so much pressure on myself, and focused on identifying my weak points and analyzing my losses. 

The results came. I placed high in the rankings of the next few tournaments I played in, and defeated some strong players. I achieved third place in the qualification for the Asian Indoor Games Rapid portion, and in doing so, unwittingly qualified to train with the Thai national team, which was being coached by a strong Grandmaster (GM) from Armenia.

I didn't qualify to play for the national team (which I wouldn't have been able to play for anyways as the tournament would be during my university term) but qualified to be a 'reserve' player, which meant that I could train with the team, but just couldn't accompany them to Turkmenistan for the competition.

But it was more than enough. My experience training with the eminent Grandmaster proved to be invaluable to both my chess skills and my character. 

He emphasized the importance of physical exercise as a way to clear our minds of frustration, not only in chess, but also in life. At the end of each day of training we would go for a run, followed by some push ups and planks.
He also taught me the importance of happiness, and that we must pursue what makes us happy or else there is no point (cliched I know, but for a reason). It was also amazing to see someone who was so accomplished with such a humble attitude, and if someone met him they would think that he was a healthy, carefree individual with a positive outlook on life, and not one of the best chess players on earth. 

In training with him, I crossed the 2000 rating barrier in chess, something which I had never done before. 

But you've probably already stopped reading, so let me wrap it up.

In 2017 I:

1. Made the most money I had ever made (only through chess)
2. Achieved an all time high FIDE (World Chess Federation) rating
3. Entered the top 10 of Thailand (for chess) for the first time in my life
4. Got to train with a world class chess Grandmaster for 3 months
5. Defeated the highest rated chess player who I've beaten. 
5. Traveled to 5 countries in 3 different continents. 
6. Flew 19 times
7. Got into a University! 
8. Started a film blog
9. Read 4 books (not counting chess and Uni books)
10. Learnt how to drive
11. Affirmed to myself my grit and ability to work hard, as well as empirically confirmed that hard work pays off (and in the best way possible in my case)

And the beautiful thing is that I never expected anything like this. I just started the year off with a simple motto - that I would work like I'd never worked before. Through my experiences this year, I've achieved a level of confidence and self belief that I've never had in my life, and most importantly, I am fulfilled, and in retrospect, am euphoric over what an eventful gap year I've had.

Thank you to my family and friends for making this a great one.

I look forward to 2018.

- Matt, Bangkok

Winter Break

I am currently sitting at the Miyakori Coffee shop on the 5th floor of Johor Bahru City Square, having just finished playing the final round of the Johor International Open Chess tournament. I did OK, I scored 5/9 against a majority rated over 2200 opposition. Having not seriously practiced any chess for nearly 4 months, I think that’s pretty decent. 

It was a little jarring, at the beginning of the tournament I was concerned with minimizing my rating damage, but it turns out that by the end of my tournament tour I gained a net total of 4 rating points. 

One shouldn’t care about the rating anyways, but I would be lying if I said that it wasn’t satisfying to see that plus.

There were the usual signs of rust - visualizing positions incorrectly, forgetting opening lines, and blundering pieces (this happened to me twice against low rated players). But I am glad to say that I overcame this with strong performances when they were needed, the necessary mental resolve, and a newfound confidence - thanks to the invaluable experience which I gained from training with Grandmaster Avetik Grigoryan.

I did lie a little when I said that I wouldn’t care if I lost to someone born in 2000 something - since I did, and it did not feel good, but there’s a silver lining to everything, since I performed well by the end of the tournament. 

So now comes Christmas, and the chance to pass my driving test, be with my family, and to watch Star Wars!

I fly back to Savannah, Georgia on the 5th of January 2018. I look forward to meeting new people, living my second existence as a college filmmaker, and running forward on the moving walkway that is life. 

Back (Always) in the Grind

SCAD's (The Savannah College of Art & Design) winter break began Nov 17, that's incredibly fast for a university to begin its winter break. 

It was a long time to get here, a 4 hour bus ride to Atlanta, followed by a 14 hour flight over the polar ice caps to Incheon, then a 5 hr flight to Bangkok.

So here I am.

With the Thailand Team Championship starting tomorrow. 

I won't lie, I'm a little bit scared, since I haven't really practiced for over 4 months.

Going to an arts school and playing chess is a little strange, since they are such distinct activities. 

At SCAD, I was concerned with whether my drawing had a realistic qualities and whether I had used the MLA citation format properly. 

Now, my priorities are fixing the holes in my black repertoire vs 1.d4.

I will admit, my interest in the game waned somewhat. The weekly meetings at the local Savannah chess club (which I am eternally grateful for) were great to maintain my OTB (over the board) strength, but still, playing 5 minute blitz can't compare to playing competitively in rated tournaments.

But I shouldn't be scared. I should be excited, excited for the fact that I will get to indulge in a mentally stimulating, unprecedentedly complex board game.
No, my ego has been destroyed and rebuilt too many times for me to worry about losing to somebody born in 2000-something, there are bigger things in life to worry about.

I initially saw this return to the game as going 'back to the grind', but then I thought, aren't we always in the grind? 

Once we realize that, we can be free from the programming of 'working' and 'relaxing'. 

There is no such thing.

Life is a perpetual grind. 

Lets go.